Valerie Heise, Facilitator

One of the most difficult times any individual can face is when someone we love is diagnosed with a life altering disease such as Alzheimer’s or some type of dementia. Everyday is a new challenge for both the loved one and the caregiver with little hope given for a better tomorrow. The mission of this particular group is to nurture not only the individual who is ill but the caregiver who gives so much and receives so little in the way of rewards. We understand the cost to caregivers is not only in time and money, but also the wear and tear on their own physical and mental health. Too often they must continue their role long after they are completely drained and do not have anything left to give. We recognize that in order for you to be able to continue to take care of your loved one in a way that is rewarding for both of you is the fact that you must take care of yourself and take time to meet your own needs. Unfortunately, too often those needs go unmet due to the demands placed on caring for someone who is unable to care for themselves. It is our goal to help and support you and your loved one through this trying time and help you to find joy and peace even in a time of crisis.

In this support group we hope to achieve the following goals

• Help in understanding and working through the various stages of grief
• Providing support and nurturance to both the caregiver and their loved one
• Educational information on Alzheimer’s and other types of dementia disorders

We will also cover the following topics to help you better understand

• The course of dementias
• The functional anatomy of the brain
• Strategies in care giving for someone with a dementia type illness
• Adapting to the role of caregiver (“What I never thought I would be doing for someone else”)

A universal human experience is to pass on Home.  We have many types of ceremonies and services that we participate in to mark the death of loved ones.  Our feelings of fear, sadness, loss and grief may not have adequate personal expression.  Some losses are more private than others.  The purpose of this group is to honor ourselves in honoring those who have passed Home and in walking through this, to discover the joyous gifts that the loved one left for us to find. This group will explore the stages of grief and loss such as anger, denial, and sadness.  Group members will create some form of personal expression to honor their loved one and to remind them of the gifts that come from Home.

Group themes will include:

• how grief affects other relationships (You seem so distant now, like you don’t care anymore. Or, you are so short tempered, nothing seems good enough for you)
• looking at the things people say to be helpful – that actually feel hurtful (You should just get over it and move on. They are better off in Heaven, out of pain. It’s not healthy to be so sad. Other people have gotten over a similar loss faster you know.)
• how to nurture ourselves and prepare ourselves for the life without our loved one
• how to eventually find the joy in our life
• exploring our relationship with the Divine and how grief and loss change this
• understanding the ups and downs of grief and affirming that we have all of the time we need to feel what is in our hearts.

Reference books for this group will include

• Death and Dying, by Elisabeth Kubler Ross
• After-Loss by Barbara LesStrang.

Both of these women have experienced, researched and shared their knowledge and the stories of men, women and children. These are not required reading, the group will be provided with sections from these books for reflection and discussion.

Journey of the Heart is a group for women who have experienced childhood sexual abuse. It is a safe place of healing and growing. The Journey of the Heart group takes a journey into the past with the help of The Wounded Heart book and workbook. Throughout the process of change, the group walks step-by-step addressing issues of denial, shame, contempt, powerlessness, betrayal and more. It is a place to drop the pretense that all is fine and to be real with others who have had similar experiences.

The Journey of the Heart group begins in late-September/early October and ends in May. The group meets weekly in a two-hour session. Because of the depth of honesty revealed by group members, the strictest of confidentiality is kept. The group is a “closed” group. Once the group has been formed, no new members will be able to join.

Many men are fighting a secret battle of issues related to sexual compulsions; i.e. pornographic material, internet pornography, extra marital affair, self gratification, and/or troublesome evil thoughts. Most of these men are reluctant to seek help. They struggle alone and become the casualties of secret internal wars. If you are struggling with “secret wars” that plague you on a regular basis and want to embark on a journey to relinquish the shame and find support, then the Men’s Secret Wars Group may be the place for you. In this group we will seek to recognize the “at risk” factors that lead to unhealthy addictions, offer emotional and spiritual support in a safe environment, and seek honesty, deliverance, and recovery from plaguing internal battles.

Sexual compulsions are not about sex. There are many reasons men and women struggle with sexual compulsion.

• Feed ego
• Release of brain hormones to feel good.
• Fill the emptiness inside.

A sexual addiction has these components, which are compulsive.

• Fantasy
• Pornography material (nude pictures, fetishes, movies, etc)
• Masturbation

1. Unconditional Worth
2. Love
3. Growing

While all three factors are essential in building self-esteem, the sequence is crucial. Our 12 week group will teach and help integrate beliefs in ones ‘intrinsic core unconditional value and worth’, and build a foundation on which to grow and flourish to your potential. The book being used, “The Self-Esteem Workbook,” has been found to raise self-esteem while reducing symptoms of depression, anxiety, and hostility among adults eighteen to sixty-eight years of age.

We need to see ourselves as basic miracles— Virginia Satir

Self-esteem is not the only determinant of happiness. Certainly it is one of the most important. The beloved late comedian George Burns (1984) observed that most of the things that make people happy—health, marriage, raising a family, self-respect, etc.—do not fall into our laps. We “have to work at them a little.” And so it is with self-esteem. Like cultivating a garden, building self-esteem involves consistent effort. The program described in this book takes approximately a half hour a day, more or less, over a 125-day period. Is this investment worth it? When we consider how great the effect of self-esteem is on mental and physical well-being, in both the short and long term, few efforts seem more worthwhile. From the introduction of “The Self-Esteem Workbook”

Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. If all or most of the following questions apply to you then this group might be beneficial to you.

• Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
• What are legitimate boundaries?
• What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries?
• How do I answer someone who wants my time, energy or money?
• Aren’t boundaries selfish?
• Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?
• How do boundaries relate to submission?

What should you expect to learn from Boundaries Group?

• How to set Physical Boundaries: Who may or may not touch you and under what circumstances.
• How to set Mental Boundaries: Freedom to have your own thoughts and opinions.
• How to set Emotional Boundaries: How to deal with your emotions and how to disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others.
• How to set Spiritual Boundaries: How to distinguish God’s will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator.

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